Acknowledging People

(Originally written January, 2011, and updated here)

I have had a few hours to wait here at Port Columbus International Airport. In addition to cleaning up email and such, I had time to engage in one of my favorite pastimes…people watching. The more I watch the crowds around me, the more I realize how alone we can make ourselves.

Now, I admit that airports are not where we go to socialize, but they are living laboratories to watch people coming and going, happy and angry, in groups and alone, stressed and relaxed, awake and asleep, rushing and waiting, eating and drinking, and so forth. Airports are destinations en route to destinations…places we go to live for a little while as we journey to where we really want to go. Honestly, nobody wants to be in an airport; it is a necessary evil on our way back to real life. Since I am in everyone’s airport environment, I am part of that evil. And they are part of mine.

I was engaging in another favorite pastime…drinking coffee at Starbucks. While sipping my latte and retreating into my own email, someone behind me grunted the words, “Are you on the Denver flight?” Not really sure it was intended for me, I looked up to see a confused young man staring at me. I replied that I was not, but I dropped what I was doing to help him get some gate information. I believe his eyes said, “thank you,” but his mouth never did. He sat down nearby to enjoy a coffee and retreat into his iPad. I watched out the window as his plane arrived at the gate next to Starbucks, so I said, “Your plane is here.” Never breaking his gaze on his device, I believe I heard a one-syllable grunt. That was either his way of saying, “Gee, thanks for dropping what you were doing to help me during a stressful moment when I was not really sure if I was at the right gate,” or it was a coincidental coffee belch. My desire to see the best of humankind compels me to believe it was the former.

Airports clearly expose the ways that our culture has developed to isolate ourselves in crowds, ways that not only block out the sight and sounds but consume our attention at the expense of the world around us. I just watched a young man so absorbed in his iWhatever that he bumped into three people and a trash can on his way to the men’s room, and I’m not even sure that he was aware he did. (One can only hope that his focus improved as he tended to business in the men’s room. I really don’t want to think about it.)

The seats here are full of people with little white wires coming from their ears. If someone stripped naked and started a bonfire, I truly believe most would not notice. Occasionally, someone demands the attention of a traveling companion, at which point they lean forward with an annoyed look on their face and momentarily pull a wire from one ear. (Heaven forbid we miss hearing a song for the hundredth time to acknowledge a person and listen to an unprogrammed thought.) That gesture is our culture’s way of saying, “OK, you have my attention. Talk fast, because you won’t have it long.  And talk loud, because these earphones have destroyed my hearing.”

Now don’t get me wrong. Trying to introduce oneself to everyone in an airport is probably a great way to see the inside of a TSA detention area. But it is an amazing world, and God gives us moments to experience people along the way. We need times of retreat and solitude, but let’s not lose the opportunities that God gives us to experience people. Here are ideas:

• Speak to the “invisible” people…the folks emptying the trash and sweeping the floors. Nobody sees them. I think they truly live in an alternate reality. Just say “hi,” or say, “the floor looks nice” or something like that. Acknowledge and affirm them.
• Hear and see what is happening around you. It may not take long to find someone who needs help or encouragement. In an airport, it may be someone looking for their gate or who simply needs help with a suitcase. I saw a young woman trying to manage three small children and several carry-ons, and she was thankful for someone who offered to help get everything to the gate.
• Acknowledge people who help you. When I got to the airport this morning, I had trouble locating my concourse. A gracious TSA official helped me understand that I was looking at my Houston ticket, not my Columbus ticket. Not only did he help me find my way, he also helped me to feel less like an idiot. I tried to thank him as graciously as he helped me…unlike the response I received from “grunting Starbucks iPad guy.”
• Thank people for fixing what they mess up. Life is full of errors. We make them all the time. While I was enjoying my latte at Starbucks, a lady came in and ordered a frozen coffee carmel machi-something which was apparently prepared wrong. She took one sip and winced, and then she went to discuss it with the young barista (who was obviously a trainee). Messing up one’s coffee drink at Starbucks is a crime that obviously ranks up there with murder and drowning puppies in the river, and she let the barista know that. What was truly amazing was that she did this while texting; I don’t think she ever really saw the face of young girl. The poor barista was more than willing to remake the drink, but the customer had not yet unloaded the entire load of vitriol. The incident finally ended. I am sure that the customer went home and regaled others with the tale of how she stood up for herself and put an incompetent person in her place. What I saw was a real person, a shattered young lady who messed up and tried to fix it, only to be made to feel like a fool in front of her manager/trainer…and less important than the message the customer was texting. Fortunately, her manager and coworkers rallied and supported her. (Coffee was not meant to be served cold anyway, so really it was the fault of the customer for wanting such a thing!)

Jesus didn’t have an iPod. He engaged the people. Now I’m not suggesting that we all go out and throw our iPhones in the river, but I think we need to look for a balance that honors people. It is hard to be light and salt when we don’t even realize what is happening around us.

What are some ways we can acknowledge people?